The pain of loving an addict and the power of love

Mental health is no joke.

Addiction is no joke.

In my experience these things go hand in hand.

People often turn to things like alcohol and drugs when looking for a way out of reality.

And people with certain mental health problems are more prone to addiction than those without.

These behaviors are a cry for help.

They don’t seek attention.

They don’t intentionally try to hurt the people in their lives.

They say in the only way possible that they are drowning and need a lifeboat.

And it’s tough for everyone involved.

After seeing it firsthand through my husband’s struggles with addiction, I’ve seen every side of it.

I have experienced the pain of loving an addict and not knowing how to help.

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I saw his pain and struggles and how he wanted so badly to change and do better, but how addiction takes hold of a person and doesn’t let go easily.

I watched him fall into a deep, dark hole of depression and self-destructive behaviors that threatened to crush him and ruin our marriage in one fell swoop.

I watched the years of struggle as he kept trying to sober and kept falling into the clutches of addiction.

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I cried and screamed and wondered if I had to leave in the middle of some of his darkest times.

Addiction is not nice.

But I’ve learned that the addict needs love to get out of it.

You need support and help.

When everyone they love turns their back on them and walks away, they feel like they have nothing to live for and will self-destruct in response.

Well yes it is important to make sure you and any children are safe and if you are ever in a situation where you do not feel safe you should seek help immediately.

But don’t dehumanize the person clearly screaming for help.

Don’t demonize them or make it impossible for them to get the help they need and live a better life.

It’s a matter of life and death, which must be taken seriously.

We need to change the way we think about mental health and addiction.

We need to see it clearly for what it is and stop making villains out of people when they need help.

People joke about addiction like it’s no big deal.

People make comments about the homeless man on the corner and how he must be a bad person and a drug addict to be in this situation.

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People look down on the one who says they are struggling with their mental health rather than offering their ear or a helping hand.

We have to do better.

We can do better.

Love is a powerful thing.

Kindness is a powerful thing.

When we choose to show love and kindness, we open a door for that person.

We tell them they are worth loving and show them that there is hope out there.

It won’t happen overnight.

But by opening that door, you are taking the first step towards healing for everyone involved.

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My husband fought for years.

Alcohol was the number one fight.

Over the years we have also fought against pornography, pills, cigarettes and chewing tobacco.

We’ve been together for 10 years and it’s been a full year next month since he finally realized he can’t drink at all. je.

A year sober.

After fighting this beast on and off for years.

And it’s a lifelong struggle.

He’s an alcoholic.

Was not.

And he can never drink again.

It took a long time to get here.

But that didn’t happen by itself.

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It took so much work from both of us.

He had to want to get help and want to get better and do the work to change.

RELATED: Addiction changes everything but love

I couldn’t do it for him.

I had to be willing to stand by him during his struggle and help him in any way I could.

And after years of perseverance and hard work, we made it on the other side.

Every story is different.

Every person is different.

But the one thing that stays the same for each and every story is the need for love.

love is powerful

Love can make a huge difference to someone who is hurting.

And I believe that love is strong enough to change hearts and minds.

All we have to do is believe in it and live it.

Moria Couch

I am the wife of a hardworking and loving man. A homeschooling SAHM for three beautiful children, one with autism, one with ADHD and one with autism and ADHD. A follower of Jesus. On a journey to maintain my own sanity and share my experiences in hopes of spreading awareness and encouraging others along the way. You can follow me on Facebook or Instagram @lifewiththecouches